Sunday, December 11, 2011

Can't Dream for Others

Although I've suspected this, maybe even known this, it has been reaffirmed for me multiple times in the recent past. Even though the dream you have imagined for someone else may be perfect for them. It may be something that they really want but just are not ready for, or have not realized yet. Dreaming for someone else is a fool's errand; dreams by nature are a personal thing and unless the dreamer and dream are one, it cannot be fulfilled.

So how does this work when related to parenting? Don't all parents have dreams for their children? I believe that they do, but really what  parent can do is to help the child construct and clarify their own dream. From that point on, unless the child adopts the dream and makes it their own, it remains a dream that the parent has for their child as opposed to the child's dream that they will take to fruition.

Different scenarios, but same principle. So if you are involved in a dream for someone else, beware, all you can do is help articulate the dream. At that point you need to let go or you will be left with a sense of failure for something you never had any control over in the first place.

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